Here I will share with you the things I find timeless; my favourite stories, who I am and where I’m from. ( Go figure)
Bliss is not only my favourite word, but believe it or not it’s my favourite feeling. I have felt it less times than I’d like, but I like to think that makes it all the more special when it comes creeping up on me. I’m going to share my most blissful moments with you. I don’t think I’ve ever said them out loud (or wrote them in this case), so this feels more personal.
The true bliss I feel, the moment where it is most surreal is the ocean. When I’m floating in the water, feeling every wave move through me makes me feel invisible. In that moment I give the ocean full control of my body and just let go. I let go of my consciousness. The ocean is the only place I am capable to let go to that degree, go so deep in this blissful state of mind where I don’t even feel real. The ocean holds so much power and can make you feel so small yet so free. It puts the world into perspective for me without doing anything at all. It’s like the quote from the fault in our starts by John Green; “In that moment, I swear we were infinite”. You can’t deny every time you hear that quote you know the feeling those people shared. Its so special and deep, and although it does just last a moment, that moment really does seem infinite because its so surreal. I could tell you about all the great moments I spent floating in the ocean but theres only so many stories I could write about floating.
Runner up to the ocean are the mountains. Climbing up to the top of a mountain to reveal the most prepossessing views. Getting to breathe in the mountain air, you can feel it circulating in you. There’s nothing like it. I am fortunate enough to have the mountains near the city unlike the ocean, and I must say I take full advantage of that. My boyfriend and I go camping often and on may long weekend this year all our go-to campsites were full. We kept driving until the road ran out to find a good spot and lucky for us there was a perfect little walk in campsite. It was on a mountain and although it was May there was snow everywhere. My dog didn’t enjoy it has she’s small, deaf and blind. (LOL) So here we are with my barely functioning dog, making multiple trips up and down the hill to bring all the gear to the sight we have chosen. Once we finished setting up, we made meals and played cards and started our fire. Sitting there by night time it became cold, my dog was next to me covered in a blanket sleeping, as was I, minus the sleeping. The moment where it’s just silent and there was nothing but the crackle of the fire was the moment I remember the most. The sun was going down and I could see only the shadows of the mountains around us, hear nothing but the wings of birds flapping and fire crackling, and felt nothing but bliss. I get this feeling often when in the mountains but there was something about that particular moment which really captured me. We go to this campsite all the time now and I get the feeling every time.
My family has a long and complicated history which I will not bore you with details about. All you really need to know is my brother Dmitri is my favourite person on the whole planet. You really can’t count your lucky stars enough if you have the opportunity to meet him. Most noteworthy about Dima is that he is over 10 years older than me, which is a great amount of years for a sibling. He raised me more than my parents did and what I appreciate most about him is his ruthless honesty. No matter my age, he always treated me like and adult and never babied me. At times I think I grew up to fast but thats really the only way I would turn out to be a functioning child facing the circumstances which included moving to Canada from Russia and my dad leaving the family basically the second we arrived. What a guy. We joke about it now and I love my dad dearly but to say we had a bit of a rough patch would be an understatement. Luckily for me I was four so I really didn’t know the meaning of my dad leaving, I just remember being sad. As for my brother it was a whole other story. He was at the prime age to be absolutely torn about by the entire thing but he kept it cool and collected while going to school in the day and helping my mom at her work from the second he got out of school until what seemed like the next morning. He kept the family together and helped my mom more than I can put in to words. He gave up his teenage years for my mom and I and I will never be able to thank him enough. Of course being a brother he did have a few setbacks that I really want to share as they are now my favourite memories, even though at the time it was worse than awful. The first story would be when my brother hit me in the face cause I wouldn’t shut up, and the tooth that I was preciously saving for the tooth fairy was knocked out and chocked on, proceeding to be swallowed. It was traumatizing for me, but the tooth fairy came anyways, leaving me a toonie instead of a loonie cause I guess he felt bad. If that isn’t bad enough, my brother also shot me. Yes it may have just been one of those dumb pellet guns but let me tell you it still sucked. He was pretending to shoot me cause he thought the gun was empty (he probably should have checked) and proceeded to shoot me right in the leg. I screamed an almighty scream with a quick response from my mom from up the stairs which consisted of a concerned yell. Obviously my brother made me play it off and just told me to keep my mouth shut and my mom had no idea that her little girl got shot by her own brother until a full decade later, where luckily my grudge ended. The things you do for a sibling. The last think you need to know about my brother and I is our matching tattoos. We both got the initials ZR to represent our family. A tribute to the Zommer and Romanova blood that runs deep and thick and is filled with promise, and maybe a little beer. For me it represents the the consistent strength my family has shown me and I can only hope one day, I can be as great as they have been to me my whole life and return the favour. My mom has lived her whole life for her children and has given her best, with the tattoo I can carry that part of her with me everywhere I go. I also plan on shooting Dima with a pellet gun in his sleep because I know I said I was over it, but can you really ever be?
First off I would like to share my all-time favourite song with you……. Bad and Boujee. Yes, the one by Migos. You may be wondering why that has come to be at the top of the list of all the songs I could have picked from, but the honest truth is, is that I just don’t know. Something about being bad and boujee sounds like a great deal of fun and the dream, I think for everyone is to be bad and a little bit boujee. (Also to be happy and healthy but thats not part of the song.)
OK, but seriously, it’s a feel good song that will get your head bobbing no matter what mood you’re in. Thats why I love it.
Sitting in the passenger seat of my boyfriends car, on the highway, he holds his phone out to me and tells me to pick a song. I scroll through the hundreds of songs he has on the playlist and you’ll never guess what song I picked!! (Bad and boujee) Since then it has stuck. My boyfriend sadly never lets me throw on a song mid-drive anymore unless he can have my word that it will not be that one. One would think that I have gotten tired of it but no, and I hope that I don’t because every time I listen to it I think of being in the passenger seat, window rolled down and laughing hysterically at something Nico (my boyfriend) said. Ironically the song doesn’t fit the description I’m giving it but when I listen to it, I get that warm feeling inside of comfort.
I like to draw even though I’m bad at it. I also like to write. My mom loves reading what I write but I’ve always believed she’s the only one and also I’m her daughter so she has to like it. But here I am, writing away, open to the public for judgement but I have learnt to not care. I may be bad at more than half the things I like doing but why should that stop me from doing them? It’s ridiculous to think that at one point in my life I didn’t do the things that made me happy simply because I wasn’t good at them and was afraid of judgment. Thank goodness I grew up.
I also love yoga and I like to think I’m okay at it. I do only hot yoga because I love the heat, which leads me to my favourite season which is summer. I also like fall because of the leaves and abundance of chai tea lattes. My mom always makes me photograph her in the fall. She stands next to trees and touches the leaves and looks up at them. If you know my mom you’re probably laughing because you have seen that exact picture.
Really I could go on about the things I like to do and all the things that define me, but I’m just not gonna. You’ll know more about me once I really start blogging. Hopefully there will be someone reading. (Hi mom)